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I am a member of a church.

I was standing outside my work truck when I heard some say, “I attend a church.” Suddenly, I realized that I had heard this thought in the spirit. That statement prompted me to write this message.

As long as I could remember, I have attended many churches. I was bouncing from one to another seeking a church that agrees with me. I now realize that I was not really committed, like the many relationships, I was involved in.

Why was I constantly leaving one church and joining another? I now realize that I did not want to hear the truth. I wanted to stay in my realm of thinking because of my beliefs, race, wealth, ideals, personal feelings, wants, family, opinions, etc.

When I was heavily involved in behaviors that later lead to pain, suffering, hurt, stress, anger, divorces and so forth, in the back of my mind, I knew that it was wrong. I justified my actions and continued to do as I pleased.

One day, I awaken from the sleep I was in for years. I decided to seek out God and quit playing church, as some people call it. I knew that I would have to die to my carnal minded thinking in order to do the right thing. I must give up what the Lord had told me to give up, even if it involved relationships, opinions, beliefs, feeling, ideas, wants, etc. I needed to give up anything selfish in opposition to His teachings.

When I refused to do so, I knew that I would reap the consequences of my actions. I would be the one to blame for whatever happens to me. I must

Pray to God for help, resist the temptation, and ignore justifications to do those things that made me feel good. There were times that I fought God within my mind, telling him how I felt and what I want.

Who am I to tell God, what I need or what is good for me? I do not remember me saying, God. I know it is wrong, but I am going to do it.” I realized that I did tell God that in a roundabout way. I told him from my choices that are in direct conflict with his commands and teachings.

Furthermore, I recall when I experienced trouble, problems, pain, and suffering; I did run to God for help then. However, the help that I was seeking was temporary; I wanted the help but I did not want to really commit. I was using God as an ATM; the problem was; I was constantly making withdrawals of God’s Blessings and goodness, but not making any deposits to commit to serving him.

I finally committed myself into a church that teaches the truth; that exposed my sins and wrong thinking. I must continually go through the process of confessing my sins, repenting, asking for repentance, reading His word, and seeking out the help that he sent to me.

I know that I will fail at times, but as long as I confess my faults and shortcomings and continue to seek out his help my deliverance will eventually come.

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