You are hereby ordered to pay child support for your child(s). I would rather go to jail, find another job of a lesser hourly amount, quit my job, work under the table, convince you to have an abortion and spare me the financial loss, leave the county or even kill before I pay you child support. Why are you going to the courts to get me to give you my money? I would give you what I want and depending on how you respond, you may get some of it or none. I do not care what the courts do nor say.
I am a former police officer, and I heard some these statements from females, and males of domestic cases that I had investigated. Furthermore, I heard some from friends and family members.
I met a male who was receiving child support from the mother; it's not often, but some fathers receive child support. Some females believe that the male should always be the one to pay child support regardless of who has custodial rights, because they are the man. The female forgets that she had something to do with getting pregnant. if only she had waited until she was sure he was the one and got married, before engaging in sexual behavior and producing a child out of wedlock. When news of the pregnancy is mentioned the blame game begins about who should have used some form of birth control protection. When two people with a child(s) are in love everything on the surface appears to look fine; however, when they end the relationship some walk away and take care of their financial responsibility, and others refuse and would go to great lengths not to pay.
I am a father of three, and I am paying child support. I never thought about not paying. It was my responsibility to pay for the maintenance of my children regardless of how or why our relationship ended. The only thing that I did not like was how the money was spent. I know that child support doesn’t have to be solely for the child. Paying the utility bills, rent etc. all goes to benefit the child. I did not want their mother to be using the money for her nails, hair, clothes and so forth. I was once told by a female that because I was paying child support, I would have no or little money to spend on her, so she could not be involved in a relationship with me. It is funny that same woman had a child whose father was not paying child support. When I asked, why he does not pay, she told me that she didn't want him to be involved in their lives. So he agreed to abort his responsibility in return not to pay child support. I had spoken to some women who would spend the money solely on the child, and some women spend part of the money on themselves only to return to the court to ask for an increase in the name of the child. It is like the government saying, pass this law for the children, and yet underlying it’s not.
I have never met a woman who says that she is not paying child support because the child is not hers; however, I have met a lot of men who said that the child they were supporting was not theirs. You need to take a paternity test I advised. Some claim that the women trapped them, or did not use any form of protection purposely. These men in their refusal to pay child support never admit that they are the cause of their problem; if they had just kept their penis in their trousers, they perhaps would not be objecting to the financial ejection. A woman once told me that another woman told her to apply for welfare and avoid the court proceeding as it pertains to child support. This way the courts go after the father and she could spare herself of the embarrassment. That kind of thinking reveals her attitude concerning a man's responsibility.
I wondered did she know where the money is coming from. It's coming from the taxpayers, and the government in turn pays her. I get irritated when I hear stories of men avoiding their financial responsibility to their child’s mother, who they once said, baby, I love you; you are the one for me and so forth. When it comes to money being taken away they cry foul, putting the blame on the female. In the heat of their passions, they were only thinking about themselves not of any consequences. These men and women must do the right thing and provide for their child. It is not the child's fault they were conceived. It’s not the child’s fault that the relationship ended before they entered the world. It’s not the child’s fault that someone got hurt from the breakup. It's not the child's fault that their parents are behaving not like parents, but like enemies. It’s not the child’s fault that they were not aborted when one of their parents asked the other to do it.
My purpose for writing “Pay your child support Daddy… and Mommy you too”, is to cause those of you who are going through something similar to think about your child. It is not about you; it is about your child. Your child needs both of you in their lives. When you don’t pay any child support, who gets hurt? Is it yourself? No, it is your child. When you pay child support, you are taking care of your responsibility, regardless of what happened that caused the split. Paying child support is the first step that should lead to a non monetary child support. You can support your child with your love regardless of how you feel about the person you conceived the child with. Support that child with attention, affection, and love. Teach them right from wrong.
I mentioned abortion and I had this thought, about a spiritual abortion. It is the same as a physical one; denying life and refusing to take responsibility for your sinful behavior. For example: not being responsible, refusing to pay child support, refusing to involve oneself in your child's life, denying your child what is necessary. You may have never agreed to an abortion but by refusing to pay child support or to involve yourself in your child's life it is a form of abortion.
There is a saying, “what goes around comes around”. In the word of God, it is called the sowing and reaping judgment. When a person refuses to pay child support, the money gets taken from them in a form of accidents, sickness, loss of employment, thefts, etc. An agreement that exempts the other from paying child support in return not to involve them in their child’s life does not stop the sowing and reaping judgment.
There is a spiritual law that executes justice and is not controlled by what we feel, believe, think, and want. What if the other person is using your child against you, what do you do? You try to discuss the matter in a civilized manner. If you are unable to come to a resolution, seek legal advice. You do not punish your child by withholding or aborting your responsibility. What if the other parent proposes an offer to you that you do not have to any pay child support if you stay out of your child's life? You need to refuse to accept these terms of conditions, especially when it goes against what God requires of you.
Your child needs you. As your child grows up they will need more than money. They will need a continuous non monetary child support in all areas of their lives. You must teach them what is right,and hopefully they will not grow up and conceive a child in marriage or out of marriage, end their relationship and their children end up saying, “ pay your child support daddy… and you too mommy".