I am happy
There was a time that I was not happy with myself. I was feeling lots of emotional pain. I shared how I felt with some friends. I was at a point to where I wanted to give up. They tried to encourage me out of my emotional stupor. When I really thought about what my friends had said, I realized that I had focused on the negative and did not look at the positive. I considered what I had done that had caused me to not be happy. There were a lot of things that I had chosen that had put me into despair.
I recognized that I had looked for happiness in sexual encounters, bars, alcohol, people, material things, relationships, and money. These were temporary forms of happiness, considered to be my pill to numb me through the many days and nights filled with tears and emotional pain. I wanted all of this to stop.
Several days later I met a woman. We were having a conversation; she said something that had nothing to do with our discussion. She said, “Be happy because I had overcome a lot, and I should be thankful for what I had done. Be happy because you are alive." This woman had no idea how I had felt. Her words and words from others opened my consciousness. I began to think about the positive things in my life.
I asked myself why I focused on the negative and not the positive? I blamed my family; I did not grow up in a positive thinking environment. I was still being driven by my emotions; experiencing the highs and lows of negativity.
I understood that I had traveled down a road full of despair, and along the way I met other unhappy people. We all were miserable about our life. Our experiences taught me that I can experience happiness if I refuse the negative and choose to be happy. I must will myself to be happy. It won’t be easy, and I will struggle with this every day. I know I will have off and on success towards being happy.
Regardless of what I had experienced, I am happy because the Lord woke me up to this morning. I have a job, a dependable car, money, my children, family and I are all healthy, and I have a roof over my head. I thanked the Lord for the unknown miracles that he performed throughout my life. I decide to be happy in all things. No one can make me happy. I chose to be happy. I must look within myself and see the greatness of God in all things and be a part of his work through my happy moments and sad moments.
I choose to highlight the positive and resist the negative. I am happy!